Table of contents
Event Summary
29th July
Jazzy and Saj arrive at Dohees place around 9:30pm. No one has turned up. So it begins.
The rest arrive over the next hour. After the bickering, complaining (apart from Jazzy) and
general disorganisation (as is customary) we head off around 11pm.
Nothing can go wrong now.
12am Shafs exploded the tyre on his car driving along the M4. Claims it is an accident.
Shaz calls AA, they arrive promptly.
Saj declares that if we have to go back to HW, he won't come back. He has important matters
that he needs to attend to (yeah right).
AA man takes the limp mobile to the nearest emergency tyre replacement guy (who knew they
existed eh). Along the way Shafs gleans information about some amazing caves and waterfalls
from the AA guy who used to do mountain rescue in a former career.
30th July
Finally arrive at Brecon car park around 4:30am.
Decide to read Fajir, everything is fine now. Shafs leads. "Allau Akbar". Midgets attack. Felt like
the longest 2 rakahs in the world. Finish salah, midges have also finished their meals.
Leg it from the carpark, midges pursue but due to having stuffed their faces they can't keep up haha
Get to camp site around 6am.
It is empty. Hoooray.
Start setting up camp.
Shafs gives orders, people ignore him.
Eventually some semblance of order exists.
Tents go up, wood is gathered.
Shafs puts up his hamock. Decides it is better than sleeping in a tent (feels superior).
Tixy is in charge of the fire (here we go again). He declares it must be done the "right" way. So we wait for the candle flame
to get bigger as the twigs feed the fire.
Eventually it gets going. The main thing is that it is a "natural" fire I suppose.
Ruck sacks are put in a pile. A Tarp sheet is hung over the top.
Food is separated. Jazzy finds Ginger Beer in his rucksack. He is not amused.
Some muppets (definitely not Jazzy and Shaz) decide the meat bags needs to be soaked in the water to keep is cool.
Saj wonder where his meat is. Someone (not Jazzy) mentions in might be in the water. Saj flips.
Shaz gets the meat from the water. The bag is full of water. Oops. This point is quickly glossed over.
Rifty gets out his sausage.............bag
Everyone loves those sausages (especially Shaz). This is some gormet sheeeee.
Need more wood for the fire Tixy proclaims *sigh*.
Onto the river water logged beef patties.
They taste better infused with light brown river water (Jazzy and Shaz breath a sigh of relief quietly). Shaz has one reluctantly after a lot of persuading. He really wants chicken.
Shaz takes off his jacket. Not sure what happened to him, he just vanishes at this point, weird.
Food is over, no need for Asif to stay awake anymore. He goes to sleep around 9am.
We sit around the fire and make it bigger for no reason really. After a while we also go to sleep around 11am.
Ruck sacks are put in a pile. A Tarp sheet is hung over the top. Food is separated.
We sit around the fire and make it bigger for no reason really. After a while we also go to sleep around 11am.
Wake up a couple of hours later around 1:30pm.
Shaz materialises again.
Tixy says the fire needs more wood (anyone notice a theme here?). Wood is gathered
Chicken is grilled (Shaz can't contain his excitement).
It goes down nicely with fizzy drinks.
Pepsi is nearly finished. Shafs mentions he has another bottle. Hooray
Time for the traditional walk up the large hill. Departure around 4pm.
Everyone goes except Jazzy.
Back at camp just after 7pm.
Jazzy is asleep in the hammock and is rudely awaken. Fire is out. You had one job Jazzy!
Group wants tea. Kettle is boiled. Someone notices the plastic is melting on it. Who decided to bring a kettle with plastic on it? Milk is added. Who bought skimmed milk?!? Everyone looks at Shafs. Shafs looks behind him wondering why they are looking at him.
Lamb chops cooked and eaten.
Asif does a 20 min talk about brotherhood. It was very nice Masha'Allah.
Group gets ready to sleep around 11:30pm.
Shafs decides he doesn't want to get murdered sleeping in the hammock at night, so opts to share a tent (no longer feels superior)
People chatting away in the adjacent tent (definitely not Rifty/Tixy/Shafs. Asif wonders if they will be talking all night. Might make it harder for him to sleep I suppose. 30 seconds later Asif is asleep.
31st July
Get awaken around 4am to bass coming over the hills. We discover later that this is coming from some sort of party over 3 miles away.
Pray Fajir.
Asif promptly goes back to sleep (sleeping on the car journey on top of the other multiple hours obviously wasn't enough)
Tixy says the fire needs more wood. The great wood gathering begins again.
Time for some meat and corn on theeee cob.
Grill placed on top of the fire.
Shafs is busy adding wood. Decides he should take charge and check temperature of the grill. The human thermometer grabs the grill with both hands with a manly Grrrrr.
Everyone is informed that the grill is hot as shafs runs to the river for an unrelated reason while shouting.
Food is ready.
Asif is snoring away in his beloved tent.
An unnamed individual (Shaz) takes this personally. Kicks over all the tension poles. Asif definitely
carries on sleeping. "Asif, food is ready" is shouted by someone. Asif clambers out of the tent.
After the corn, Shaz reluctantly mentions that there are some beef patties and is forced to cook and eat one.
We pack up and head off the the caves that the AA guy mentioned.
The car has 2 flat tyres now. Can everyone just stop nazaring the car pls?)
Tixy gets a pump from some kind gentleman and we set off for the caves.
We park the car in the wrong car park and walk around a mile uphill to the caves.
Shafs falls in love with the caves, even suggests we all wade through a deep pool in pitch black darkness to get to the other side. Everyone just walks away and he is forced to abandon his plan.
Drive back home around 4pm while checking tyre pressure at a couple of service stations along the way.
Pics or it didn't happen
Brecon 2016 Photos
Rifter's Account
Brecon Meat Fest 2016
1. Rifter gets a cab to Shaz's, and then we leave for Asif's in Wembley. The cab costs flippin' £55. Rifter needs to find a way to get this paid for ;)
2. Jazzy and Saj arrive at Dohee's place. No one else is there. Dohee has chickened out and in his shame has offered his house as rendezvous point. He must also provide dinner
3. Asif, Shaz and Rifter reach Wycombe. Shafs and Saj pull up at the same time. We all get our stuff into Dohee's living room and pack the rucksacks. Everyone agrees to ignore Feisty's contribution of a 25 litre 'rucksack'.
4. Dohee brings in the cake and tea - yum
5. No one can find the loo, despite is being labelled.
6. We split into two cars : Jazzy, Atiq, Saj in Jazzy's Beemer and Shafs, Asif, Shaz, Rifter in Refi's darling Audi. He warns us he doesn't have a spare tyre, but that's no problem in shaa' Allaah.
7. We hit the road, bang on time at midnight! maa shaa' Allaah, Brecon here we come!
8. Poof. Refi's tyre bursts. We pull up to the side. Shaz says "Get out". We all look at him as it is rather cosy in the car. "Get out!" said Shaz.
9. Shaz has to extend his AA subscription. AA truck turns up. We get towed to next junction, and charged £220 (yes £220!) for a new tyre. Refi will be most pleased.
10. The AA guy tells us about some caves near the Neuadd Reservoir. Shafs keeps a note of that. We didn't know it then, but he has turned into a super excited 6 year old.
11. We hit the road - again! Shafs realises he has left his hat at the garage. Shafs can feel the road on the way to the parking lot. Bridge coming up. Little house on the right coming up. Ah, just like the old days!
12. Arrive at the parking lot. Unpack. Start praying fajr.
13. Midges attack.
14. Sorry, did I forget to mention that the midges attacked?
15. It's a massive midge attack!
16. Shafs carries on reciting Baqarah while we are all dying from midge bites. Those were a very long two rakahs!
17. Trudge upto the camp site. See a road leading into the old reservoir - that can't be the right way can it? So carry on the long way round through the bogs and over fallen tree trunks. This is the *only* way to get there.
18. Reach our camp site - no one else is there! Woo hoo! Setup tents. Tixy gets the fire going. It *must* be done without any coals. None of us are tired - except Asif who keeps asking when we go to sleep. Breakfast time! We need something breakfasty. Sausages will do. Shaz seemed to disagree. Said something about burgers. Shafs keeps on poking the sausages with his penknife. Rifter keeps trying to stop him. After the sausages we have Saj's burgers. Double decker burgers. With cheese. Shaz is happy. He says: "Burger".
19. Utterly stuffed, we go to sleep.
20. Wake up after three hours and get the fire going again. Lunch time. Shaz says : "Burger". We get out the Rifter's chops. Yum. Tixy gets out the chicken. Lots of chicken. Now we are really stuffed. Shaz says: "Burger". Tixy gives him chicken.
21. We pray, have a rest and then decide to scale Pen Y Fan. Jazzy claims he is preserving his knees, so gets in the hammock and reads a book. On his Kindle.
22. Rifter says take the sensible route along the stream instead of the boggy route up Crybin. We hit bogs anyway. Saj shows his treacherous tendencies again and keeps running off. Shaz takes his jacket off, and promptly becomes invisible in his green top. Did he say "Burger" at some point? Path of death and doom and destruction and damnation.
23. We get phone reception! Everyone starts phoning home and texting to make up with angry other halves.
24. Asif's legs give way, so he heads back with Saj.
25. The rest of us carry on and reach the summit. Lovely weather and lovely views. Head back down again. Path of death and doom and destruction and damnation. Tixy has some gaseous ejections for which he gives us all clear warning.
26. Reach the camp expecting Jazzy to have prepared dinner. Instead he is lying asleep in his hammock.
27. Rekindle the fire. Dinner. More meat. Shaz says: "Burger". Tixy gets out his chops and more chicken. Finally when we figure Shaz is about to get violent we get out the last of Saj's burgers and make him one. Shaz is happy again.
28. Asif gives us a nice reminder about brotherhood. Shafs recites some Arabeezee poetry. We are tired now. See the lovely sky full of stars. Crash out for the night.
29. Wake up for Fajr after having to listen to rock music coming from somewhere up the valley all night. What the blah happened to getting away into the countryside?!
30. Rekindle the fire. Breakfast. We are all too full of meat, so we make tea with the red top water bottle. I mean milk bottle. Who brought those red tops anyway? Have the last chops. Shafs touches the hot grill and some expletives emanate from him. We realise he is a human thermometer! The hotter the grill, the stronger the expletives!
31. Pack up and get ready to head back to the car park. Walk down the direct route towards the dam, and find the road that goes back to the car park. Oops. Should have come this way!
32. Refi's darling Audi has another flat tyre. And the changed tyre is running low too. What is this bakwas?! Borrow a foot pump from a friendly dude in his car, and pump up the tyres.
32. Head out to the caves. Park in the nearest car park. Walk 30 mins to the car park right next to the caves. Whose bright idea was this? Go down to the cave. Wow! Shafs starts prancing about and goes straight in. Torches out. Amazing cave system inside. Shaz stands in the blazing hot sunshine outside and warns us that sudden rain could flood the cave and drown us. Hmmm. Shafs and Saj almost get us lost inside the cave system, and find their path by sighting the water bottle they put down. Alhamdulillaah!
33. Come back out, pray. Shafs and Saj go to get the cars. On the way home now!
34. Tyre loses pressure again. This is not fun. Go back to the garage to find Shafs' hat, but it isn't there. Call the tyre repair dude and he finds another puncture in the new tyre that we just paid £220 for! What the blah! Pay another £25 to get that fixed.
35. Hit the road - again! Back in Wycombe at Dohee's place. Asda has come to visit us! Have a two minute chat, then Asif, Shaz and Rifter leave to go home. The others stay behind at Dohee's for a while.
36. We all stink, but what a great weekend, alhamdulillah!
Cars
Audi A6 Shafiq
BMW 5 series Jazzy
Tents
3-man Wifty
3-man Shafters
3-man Feisty
Individual:
Big rucksack (at least 65 litres)Boots
Torch
Sleeping bag/Ground mat
Towel
Cutlery/Plate/bowl/Mug
1 small bottle of water for trekking
Cuddly teddy
Around 30 Squids to sort out the costs on the weekend!
Food
BBQ:Grills atiq
6 bags of coal
Skewers/thongs(:-))/matches/BBQ fluid atiq
Meat:
All marinated and kept in freezer overnight
3 kg Kebab mince saggy
1 kg Chicken chunks (for kebab skewers) atiq
1 kg Lamb Chops atiq
? kg Chicken wings
? kg Boneless chicken fillet leg/breast
24 chops + 1 chickens wifty
Veg for skewers:
Baby tomatoes (4 packs) - Jazzy
Mushrooms (4 packs) - Jazzy
Onions (1 small bag) - Jazzy
Peppers (3 packs) - Jazzy
Other:
Pitta bread (6x6 pack) - Jazzy
Burger buns (6x6 pack) Jazzy
Burger cheese (real cheddar) Jazzy
Corn on the cob/butter (10 pieces) - Jazzy
Humous (2 tubs) - Jazzy
Olive Oil (small bottle) - Jazzy
Breakfast:
Cereal (1 Large box of crunchy nut) shafiq
Cereal (1 large box of Fruit & Fibre) shafiq
Milk (10x1L) shafiq
Drinks:
Coke/fizzy (10x2L) shafiq
Water (10x2L) shafiq
Teabags/milk/sugar shafiq
Kettle for the tea shafiq
Miscellaneous
Bin liners shafiq
Matches shafiq
Parrafin cubes shafiq
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